The simple truth...8

[The earlier quote reminded me of this weird movie "The United States of Leland", it had a lot of weird quotes...this is one of them)

The worst part is knowing that there is goodness in people. Mostly it stays deep down and buried. Maybe we don't have God because we're scared of the bad stuff. Maybe we're really scared of the good stuff. Because if there's no God, well, that means it's inside of us and we could be good all the time if we wanted. So when we do bad things, it'd be because we want to or because we have to. Or maybe we just need the bad stuff to remind us what the good stuff is in the first place.

The simple truth...7

Fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the minute- the second- that you get what you want, you don't- you can't- want it anymore.
(from: The Life of David Gale, 2003)

The simple truth...6

You can't reason with an unreasonable person.

Life is one distraction after another...

Have you ever looked the other way, throughout the bus journey coz a creep was watching you... or maybe, went for a trip coz you were fed up with the work... or started singing coz you were nervous before the interview... or went to a really expensive place to shop n eat coz you were too depressed... or started a movie marathon, coz life was becoming way too real...

those and plenty plenty more, are some ways how people distract themselves... sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse but they do distract themselves of a lot of things happening around them... maybe because they don't want those things to get to them, or affect them in any way (say for example, work pressure or a thing of sadness or something annoying) or it may also be because they are scared to or can't face something (like a great loss or failure or a responsibility etc.)... there may be many more examples and many more reasons, but my point isn't to reiterate the many ways we can distract ourselves...

my point is... what if, life has become a series of those distractions... what if, what we do is result of one distraction(direct or indirect) after another... lets take a scenario :
you had a certain dream, you tried visualizing it, dint work; so now all you do is to move away from that dream, do a different job with a strange dedication; strange because its not because you like the work, its because you have to justify whatever you're doing now, to that part of you which dared to dream in the first place... distraction can give you the power to change the direction of your life, once, twice, many times... it basically says: try, if you fail rather than trying again, try something new... which is, though most people won't admit, is what we normally do...

if that is not the case, then two options remain: either you always work towards the fulfillment of your dream or you don't know your dream...

the first case requires an awesome amount of focus, leaving no scope of distractions; except maybe from distractions themselves... this is an ideal case; it's almost impossible to find such people.. what we generally get to see, are people with "apparent focus, inherent confusion"; those who have just picked one nice aim(which looks good enough to them and their family) and they are all set to achieve it... now, this is nothing but a greater distraction... the distraction from the natural truth... its like a serious person distracting himself away from the books, to join the fun gang, to appear more interesting than he actually is or vice versa... and its funny, how many of us complete our whole life distracting away from what we really are, just because we assumed no-one would understand or respect that or we were plain scared or we just wanted to get it done the easy way...

Now, for those who don't know their dreams... who don't know what they are living for... are passing their time, hopping from one distraction to another; so that they can forget that they are ignorant and equivalent to someone who has received the spare-parts to a Ferrari but not the instruction manual of how to assemble it... so they live, clueless, in a constant hit and trial mode, wishing they might put together a Ferrari someday...

So, might be, this wild idea that life is one distraction after another; isn't that wild at all... may be, we do need to actually think why we are doing certain things...

Sleeping thoughts...

Long long time ago, i used to fall asleep as soon as i hit the bed...then one day, i remember it clearly, when i was in 5th...i just couldn't sleep, these thoughts- random and futile and humungous in number and boring... just kept attacking me... its not as if, anything remarkable happened that day, not that i would remember after all these years... but i do remember how traumatized i was..

you see, my dad always had this plan of sleeping early, so the whole family used to sleep very early, by that i mean 9 o'clock... In fact, we used to have our dinner pretty early too, 7p.m... Till yet, im unaware of any family packing up so early in the night; anyhow i used to feel really happy about it in those days.. i loved to sleep 10 hours and wake up early to just smell the morning freshness.. but then, i got doomed to think...

I hated the continuous and indomitable nature of my thoughts back then...especially during the night... they came when they wanted to, stayed as long and in morphologies they desired... and they almost never left; just when i'd fall asleep they'd assault me with nightmares... it was a lost battle back then... i used to try not to think, but then i'd think that imnt going to think; and then i'd think that im still thinking about not thinking; and then everything would rush back ...imnt exaggerating when i say that i used to punch my pillow in desperation to sleep... i even used to wake up my dad, when everything else would fail, to say that i can't sleep in a tone that people use when they come to know they're dying... and then he'll do some magic, put his hand on my head and i used to fall asleep...

Yes my dad was my magician in those days... we used to live in DDA flats in Palam... there used to be nights without electricity, days without water... things weren't quite that good, money wasn't that good... he used to hand fan me and my brother throughout the night when power failures stayed the night; he never ate before we were done; he still doesn't, no matter what we say... even though there isn't much talking, i always felt that he knows whats going on with me.. he never says anything but the support he gives silently always makes the inside of my heart moist with gratitude and guilt... and i think, i went somewhere else; so coming back to the sleepless nights...(i don't think i'd ever be able to write without digressing)

I tried a lot of things to cure myself of that childhood insomnia...most ideas came from cartoons.. tried that counting sheep method, which was obviously too firang to be effective.. somewhere i heard good fragrance means sound sleep, so i used to steal jasmine flowers from a neighbour's gamla and keep it beside my pillow; however, my condition wasn't that simple and neighbour's gamla had limited flowers :( ..then, read a story about a king who couldn't sleep, so he wandered and met a farmer who always slept good; the king asked his secret to sleep; he said "You do my work for one day, and see how peacefully you'll sleep"... and that story hit my small brain and i did a lot of activities to get really tired before sleep... it worked for some time, before i recalled that i'm a lazy bum...

Slowly, i got used to these thoughts.. even, started manipulating them... channelized them to think about bigger things than how my dinner was getting digested or where would i sit in tomorrows class or should i have bath tomorrow or not or are my nails too big etc. etc... started writing stuff, thinking about events and people and the trance that life is... nightmares changed into dreams or fantasies or interesting nightmares... and i survived, somehow the stubbornness of my thoughts...

Though i still can't switch on/off my thoughts, though my sleep is still reckless and unruly and doesn't follow my commands, though i can still get insomniac at times...but i've learnt to co-exist with my thoughts, learnt to make use of my insomniac time in doing something productive rather than hitting poor pillow, and just realize sleep requirements vary person to person, so im safe as long as i don't have 3 sleepless nights in a row coz that might kill someone... verify the last fact, imnt too sure of that... and now im actually too sleepy to write another sentence, so The End.

The simple truth...5

Reading a person gives you much more than reading any book.

Things life has taught me...part 3(jaipur trip special)

13. Don't get scared of any weird old guy, who says he got a headache coz you were taking pictures.
14. When you're not winning a card game; blame the damn luck, and have fun loosing.
15. Tying your shoe-laces is a very private thing...avoid doing it in public.
16. Don't ever get sick before a free and unlimited and delicious dinner, you'll regret it throughout your life.
17. This one courtesy a friend...10 glasses chach+15 glasses jaljeera+lots of jalebi=stomach produces some thick syrup continuously.
18.Most important...don't take two bags to a three days trip when everyone else is taking one...for some reason, its very funny to some people.