research papers..

i hate them.. i cannot read them, trying to read makes me hate my life and jump into an ocean.. how can ppl be so cruelly boring and flat.. i must have done some brutal crimes in my past life, for these sufferings.

Types of energy.

Ya we all know about the scientific stuff, and obviously this isn't about that.. this is my take on types of energy..

One is "pissed-off energy", with which i'm literally oozing today.. this shit-hole said something to me, really trivial but i got all sparked up, and it all got channeled up in the game, in which for a change, i did okay-gud.. really powerful this energy is!!

And then theres this "nervous energy".. kind-of like a key characteristic, of people who are trying something for the first time, or something they're not good at.. they act so over-enthusiastic, sometimes even shaky, that they look ultra cute(these are mostly ppl who are otherwise used to being good at their own thing).. its something very vulnerable in the way they do the whole thing, that you can't stop adoring them!!

Ya one more.. "bull-shit energy".. kind of specific, in its domain; this energy gives people with "balloon ego" (that is ego without any basis, plain air), the power to misrepresent themselves in their own eyes.. they bullshit around, making others uncomfortable, so that they can get their fuel, and survive their empty, meaningless, untalented, insecure life... classic case of pulling someone down, to make yourself look tall.. and its almost amazing, how artlessly people do this!!

What else do we have.. i call this one "people energy".. its something like, you are able to do certain things when you're among certain group of people or may be just that one special person, whatever.. i think, what its based on, is your so much wanting to be impressive to that group, that you get this unknown force that drives your, otherwise lazy bums, to really prove yourself out there..

Last i remember, this one's "talk energy".. i've already mentioned somewhere in my blog, how powerful a good conversation can be.. this one goes out for that counseling, for that cheering, for that pep-talk that can make all the difference.. words if used wisely, can talk anyone into doing the unthinkable.. i think, that is why you really need friends, you need someone to reassure you about how good you're, and then you go nail that kick-ass game or interview or show or test or whatever..

Excruciating!!

I finally know what i hate the most about big gatherings, where you don't know anyone.. its the part, when they get excruciatingly monotonous.. and btw, this is officially an outburst, after i been to one such gathering tonight..

almost 50% of people there don't care to change their expressions or their positions, except when the food arrives.. its their face with their whole life story written on it, nothing separates them, all with same forced cheerfulness which vanishes away as the host turns, they sit in one corner guarded by their likes sulking inside, and trying to maintain a plain, composed face..

then there are some others... filled with some unforeseen energy from some secret moon of some secret planet.. i mean, they are sincerely putting a lot of effort to lift the spirit of the humdrum around; but they just look so out of place.. i can't understand how you connect to so many unconnected people, coz thats how most of them are.. looking at their watches, more often than they'd look at the carefully assembled arrangement or the slogged decoration; they're unconnected like skull and blackboard.. for them, this meant just banging their skulls against the board, which definitely changes nothing, except making them crankier as night passes..

and you would initially think that kids, would "save" you, from this pain of boredom; but you see, its only "initially" that they seem to do something interesting; then they also, like Bollywood directors start selling the same cake in different packs, and that doesn't remain cute for long..
so you keep looking around, in sheer hope of a face that is worth observing.. but BANG!! you eyed some aunty who now keeps staring or passing smiles at you, and you'd curse yourself for looking at her in the first place..

i really don't think i can survive anything like this, for a long time now.. had exercised all my brain energy tonight to try to remain awake there in that crowd of monotonous faces.. why can't they make this a rule; kind-of a reservation of 15% for people with interesting habits, who can help keep a gathering alive..

Things life has taught me...part 5(basketball spl.)

28. Always play, even when you're not doing anything.. somehow on-court witnessing has more action than off-court.

29. If you suck at the game... blame it on the basketball.

30. When it gets crazy on court, form a safety zone with your body.

31. Never ever let a dog/bitch come near to the ball, have already seen one ball die this way.

32. You might realize, you'll never get good at this game.. but thats no reason not to play.

33. Miracles do happen, so do flukes, just wait for your day.

34. When you get injured, try to get a lot of attention by screaming your lungs out; then suddenly act cool and say its okay.. at least thats what everyone else does!!

35. If its in.. its the right way to do it.

36. While checking, be violent, but don't look violent.. and say "Sorry" "My bad" generously.

37. Have fun, most important..

The magic.. the charm

A chain of events,
some memorable segments.
You seem to think that,
after an age of luck gone splat,
you revived "the charm".
but actually, just another false alarm..

Still terrible fortune
your best buddy, bless scorching afternoon!
Your white shirt still has crush on mud and eggs
and only banana, splits your legs.
And you are still the best man for,
your neighbourhood pigeon shit-pour..

And there you thought, that girl,
all so perfect, all so pearl.
Would turn the game upside down.
Would make you "MaN of the town".
And that its your "charm",
that flows in her watery eyes, like greenish hue from the farm..

The magic is, sometimes raw as rake
starts where all is planned, but seems like a fake
so that another guy
charmless, but still sly
won her over, with his scheming stunt
left you with just as much as grunt..

And again, you go hunting
not for the girl, but for the charm
Dude, wheres your fire-arm??
Use your head, forget the magic
If you really see, its only simple tricks..

Things life has taught me..part 4(mumbai spl)

19. Mumbai is NOT SAFE.. dont wear anything daring, otherwise get ready for comments which gets your ear-wax so ashamed, that it melts under pressure.

20. Don't wear your watch to a beach, even if its water-proof, coz its still not sink-proof. (Courtesy: Paawan)

21. Don't send your designs to IIT, Mumbai (they'll just cheat them as it is, and act cool)

22. Don't sleep in a train, esp. when mischievous friends (who are into face painting ) are around.

23. Mumbai local trains require you to be faster, smarter and stronger than you ever will be while in delhi.

24. Keep your fists closed and maintain the original pace when a bunch of street-dogs follow.

25. Always be nice to your fellow teams, you never know, when you need their safety pins, hair-pins etc.

26. Whenever there are more people around, there will be discussions, and discussions contradicting prev discussions, and discussions why we should be having discussions; and lastly, how we never needed any discussion..so either just be patient, or do your own thing.

27. Always play train games...sometimes you discover great things about yourself and others... all in a train journey!!!

flavour spoilt ;(

This is something I've noticed very recently, actually yesterday evening... see, i have been having the best of the time since exams got over, busy with one thing or another; Mumbai trip was like the best way to close the year..and even after that trip i've hardly stayed at home, always heading somewhere in the morning.. to sum up i was having a perfect time, no blots at all...

and then, yesterday evening i found out that my basketball got torn because an ass brought his bitch on basketball court; and it was like a huge sink for me...i really really got attached to my basketball, plus i was out of practice for this mood-spoiler kind-of thing...so when yesterday, suddenly a basketball hit my nose, i gave up...i mean i just burst out crying, was so embarrassing, but i balanced myself..

so this all got me thinking, that you can have a bucket full of good times, but even a spoonful of bad luck can turn the bucket water grey.. and its hard to imagine what the previous color was, after it all gets discolored..but i guess, the only thing you can do in this situation is, throw the water and start refilling the good times...