Connected..not yet!

Sometimes in life you feel everything is so connected; as if a mesh of paper-pins entangled into each other.. one thing works, everything kind of kick-starts or one thing goes wrong, and its like a nuclear chain reaction ending in utter and complete destruction..

What I'm trying to say here, is that there is an underlying anomaly in my life, a thing that keeps coming back to haunt me. An under-rated fear perhaps, of making a mistake and be so blind as not to see it until its very late. And it is this fear, that shows up whenever something blows into my face. I wish I could avoid it forever, as I do ignore it most of the time, you know like being totally engrossed in something so as to tell myself that the fear doesn't exist. But it does, and it bottles up every time I choose laziness and mediocrity over a belief in my abilities.

Actually, the truth is... that I'm having a bad day!.. and what kills me more is that there are more to come, until I find a new Job, either with better money or with better connection to my thoughts and my spirit.. I don't want to be dying just wishing there was so much I could do, I want to get atleast 80% of my unsettled, confused dreams to materialize.. but how??

Lost in translation!!

Recently, I was asked to write an article in Good to know section of TCS magazine.. I thought this might be intrestingly safe..

Ever wondered, what would you call a person who is ready to forgive any abuse the first time it occurs, to tolerate it the second time, but to neither forgive nor tolerate a third offense. Unless you were born in Congo, you’d be speechless about this one. The correct answer is “Ilunga”[ee-Iun-ga], originated from the Tshiluba language spoken in south-eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo. This would also be the world’s most difficult word to translate according to an article published by the BBC on June 22, 2004.

There are other bizarre words running close in the competition. Take “Torschlusspanik” [To:-sh-lus-pæ-nik] for an example. This German word literally means “gate-closing panic” and is used to describe the fear of diminishing opportunities as one age. This word is most frequently applied to women who race the ‘biological clock’ to wed and bear children. Even more intriguing is “Mamihlapinatapei”[Mam-ihlapi-na-tapei] from Yagan, the indigenous language of the Tierra del Fuego region of South America, implying a wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start. The Guinness Book of World Records calls it the "most succinct word".

If those words struck a chord of familiarity, try the French phrase “l'esprit d'escalier” [e-SPREE des-kal-i-YE], or spirit of the staircase, used to describe the precise moment a person comes up with a clever repartee to an embarrassing insult. It is usually after leaving the party, and walking down the stairs that the mind gets that smart reply, and hence the phrase.
Ending with my personal favorite, “mokita” from New Guinea, which is the truth that everybody knows about but nobody speaks.
So, if you have a love for strange words, there is a whole world out there, at times unique to a language which for you means a sense of weird joy, but for the translator, nightmares!!

So!!!, its been long..

A lot has happened without getting any mention here.. was in trivandrum for training in tcs, then got back to delhi about 20 days back and now having a regular office life, except that there's no work at all..

I went to trivandrum with a mind frame, that I'm gonna be wrecked and I was initially.. hated brute, rude security guards who dint blv in helping with the luggage, attitude-filled "food-counter man" who asked me "not to eat", coz i dint have change, miserable(detestable) food, babel like noises in every damn language in that mini-cultural zoo of a place.. but as always, things changed.. i met some amazing ppl there, made friends, had so much fun, that now at times, being back seems like a mistake..

there's so much to tell.. about the nice Peepal Park Hostel, where roomies came and went away, many times I even had to stay alone; but all in good fun.. about the Munnar trip, where for the first time I realized that probably coming to trivandrum isn't a mistake after all;; "thekri" a part of the munnar trip, with its haunting tree-skulls coming out of the cold water, as if talking to the surrounding mountains, was breath-taking.. about some of best night-outs at CCD and some brilliant conversations.. about Kovallam, being a holy beach for us ;)).. about watching movies back to back @Rs 40 till my eyes got weak.. about dancing in the Labs.. about long walks with interesting ppl..

Things life has taught me.. part 8

1. Don't boast of your self-defense classes to guys, who can spin you like a bottle.
2. Don't keep the bill with your shirt, that you're supposed to return; coz somehow water will come and create spots on it..
3. Don't let your wallet get wet.. its just embarrassing when you use wet notes at shop; try if you don't believe me.
4. Don't wake your brother up at the middle of the night to ask if you can go out.. not only would he say "NO".. he'll be sure now that you've lost it.
5. Don't drink with a secret.. always gets puked out.
6. Shopping is like a game.. more you play, better you get.
7. Learn cooking.. save yourself the enormous guilt of asking someone else to cook for you, when your parents are out.
8. Even when you can't be sure of what you want to be; at least be sure of what you definitely don't want to be.. would keep things rolling for now.
9. I'm totally sure that not being able to remember birthdays is an illness, and I'm suffering from that.. and I don't think I can recover.

saying things without saying them..

Right now, I really am filled up with so many things to tell, but I can't say them.. and I don't really know, how to say things without saying them.. upfront and honest, that's the only way I know; but I guess, its not enough.

There are people I want to tell that just because I'm happy, doesn't mean I'm not sad.. some people, I want to avoid, not because I don't like them, but because I can't handle certain things that well.. some people, I want to interrogate like the Russian spies, but I won't as its probably too late for that.. some people, thank for making me smile, in so many different ways.. but most of them, say a proper goodbye; which I would not, as I would probably wish that I start my life fresh, without much of an attachment to the past..

there are some parts of me that I can never get back again, I just wish to do things right now..

The simple truth... 18

My grandmother used to say, "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

Bella(2006), a movie about how quickly things can change.. about an unfinished career in football, an unwanted pregnancy, and an accidental change of life..

The simple truth.. 17

Life is like this big hot air balloon, you need to drop weights if you want to go higher!!!