the usual uneasiness.

I am not sure what others do with it - if they try to cover it with a blanket of passiveness, or distract it with something delirious like a crazy movie or a crazy kiss, or if they sprinkle whiskey over it, or hug a pillow, or eat like wild boars over it .. whatever it is, I am sure nothing seems like a perfect solution to this uneasiness that grips you some days and makes you feel  as if there is something missing, something wrong somewhere but you can't put a finger on it.

It is strong enough to make you impulsive and take steps that may change your life (if you allow it, i.e.) and yet, so fragile that one whiff of alternatives and it sinks deep inside to come out at some other time, probably stronger. The uneasy thing about this uneasiness is that it's not unwanted, but it's not tempting either. You feel detached from whatever you're doing and a strange eagerness to break away so that you can unfold the mystery. But there's never enough evidence or hope that you'll succeed and so it seems worthless to stop.

So at the end of the day, to explain it to ourselves, we attach it to a reason that looks reasonable enough and go back to the usual, not knowing if the uneasiness actually faded or if we just taped some cement of reality on it.